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Saturday, September 13, 2014

What Kind of Pit Bull Are You? Take the Quiz!



I ran into this ridiculous test to find out what kind of pit bull I am.  I turned out to be the rapper, Pit Bull, not a real pit bull, WHEW!

Click here and prepare the barf bag!


Pit Nutter Circus
thought we would get into the fun, so we created a test and find out just what kind of REAL PIT BULL you are!  Or you can take it on behalf of the pit bull that gave you a lesson on what it means to be a pit bull.


Take the REAL test!

It's been removed!  WINNING!  Not to worry, reposted below, scroll down. Viva la Freedom of Speech!


       What kind of pit bull are you?

Reposted here for your amusement, with a nod to the serious! Take out a notepad and keep score

for every A answer, give yourself one point
For every B score 2
for every C score 3
and every D answer scores 4. All you Cosmo readers will have no problem with this.



1.  What name appeals to you most?

  A.  Honeybunch  B.  Diablo  C.  Mickey  D.  Pimpy Do Dah

      2.  Describe your owner.
A.  White Trash with criminal tendencies
B.  Well, there are definite fragile masculinity issues going on...
C.   Irresponsible and/or clueless 
D.  College educated vegan animal rights activist

3.  What activity do you most enjoy?

A.  Fighting with other dogs like myself

B.  I wish I could walk, it’s hard to breathe
C.  Defending my bone and snacking on children
D.  Tasting children to see if they are ripe yet
 
4.  Do you have any special talents?
A.  I would fight another dog like me to the death despite    having my ear or leg torn off
B.  I have this very large head.  Homies be saying “Damn, that dog has a large head”.  I add at least an inch to the manhood of my owner.
C.  Multitudes of people world around the world donated thousands of dollars to the “Lexus Project” for my legal defense, and I have a Causes page, a facebook page, and I've even been on the news! 
D.  I am able to live in an apartment complex where no pets are allowed, and where pit bulls are banned, because my fur mommy claims I’m a “therapy dog”.

5.  Describe where you live:
A.  Way out in the Hollers of Ohio
B.  Los Angeles
C.  Maricopa County Jail, Arizona
D.  Maimi Dade County, Florida

6.  If you were “somehow” able to escape, what activity most appeals to you?
A.  Attacking anything that moves
B.  I wouldn’t be able to make it out the front door.
C.  Eat a child
D.  Maul the Dachshund next door.  You know, they are the most aggressive dog out there!

7.  Describe what you are wearing right now?
A.  A very large chain and lots of battle scars
B.  An expensive studded collar
C.  A costume, I’m posing for the web cam!
D.  A “Therapy” Dog vest and a prong collar
8.  Favorite Accessory
A.  Spring Pole
B.  Rape Rack
C.   Attorney from the Lexus Project
D.  Tutu and small children
9.  Favorite snack
      A. Pit bulls
B.  Chain link and "Mega Bully Supplement"
C.  I used to like bones, now I like children
D.  Aggressive Yappy Dogs

10.  The most likely way you will die

A.  I will lose a dog fight
B.  I will vomit after copulation, and die of asphyxia
       
C.  I will live to a ripe old age at the sanctuary, or will get “stolen” while under the care of some foster fur momma,  and it may take a while 'til there is an investigation to see what really happened to me.
D.  I will be shot or stabbed by the next door neighbor while dining on Dachshund.

Scoring

I.  If your score is between 10 and 15, you are a GAME BRED PIT BULL.  If you and your spawn keep winning, you may fight or be retired and breed more of your kind.  Your curs may end up as being used for breeding stock of type 2 "pit bulls" .  Should there ever be a raid on your fighting ring, you may end up as type 3, used on ASPCA commercials to raise “awareness” and funds, especially if you survive missing ears or a leg, and have lots of battle scars.   If you don’t attack a human at the shelter you just may end up as type 4 and spend the rest of your life tasting children, snacking on neighborhood pets, and wearing tutus.  


II. If your score is between  16 and 25, you are not considered to be a pit bull by hard core pit bull fanatics, but likely your owner has one of these bumper stickers on his pick up truck with really big tires.  You are one of those poor genetic mutants known as an AMERICAN BULLY.



III. If your score is between 26 and 35, you are a TYPICAL CUR that maybe once or twice displayed your genetic heritage.  Most of your kind ends up being turned in to be euthanized at the shelter by an owner who realized they couldn’t handle you, or when you “somehow” escape and are caught as a stray by animal control.  Should you attack a human, and cause fatal or serious injury, and get some media attention, there may be a campaign to save you, and you may end up raising quite a bit of money for some attorneys who work “pro-bono” for the Lexus Project.

IV.  If your score is above 36, you are a PIBBLE or a PITTY, essentially a prop to heighten the self-esteem of a well-meaning college educated pit bull activist.  She may work as a vet tech.  In her spare time, between taking you visiting the hospital or the  library or a "kissing booth" at Pets Mart, she may go online and attack the character of anyone who dares to warn people of the dangers of pit bulls and supports BSL policy, all the while, lets you test the “nanny dog” theory with her own children.  You may be the most dangerous type of pit bull there is, because your owner is not willing to admit what you are.




5 comments:

  1. I think the quiz was yanked over some nutter butthurt. :/ damn! Wanted to see it

    ReplyDelete
  2. I can't get over the name "pimpy doo dah"! LOL

    ReplyDelete
  3. Fabulous! Love your sense of humour...

    ReplyDelete