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This is a transcript from SATIRE Radio News
from The Onion.
It's the Onion Radio news! A heroic pit bull journeys 2,000 miles to attack its owner. This is Doyle Redland, reporting.
A determined three-year-old pit bull escaped from a kennel in Quincy, Illinois and miraculously found its way across the great plains and through the Rocky Mountains to its master's new home in Pasadena, California, where it savagely mauled owner Jerry Lathrup. Lathrup's wife, Helen, was overwhelmed.
She explained, "There was this scratching sound at the front door, and when I opened it, there was Sarge! He bolted across the room and sprung, right at Jerry's face!"
The last similar incident occurred back in 1885, when a mule followed its owner from California all the way to the gold fields of Alaska, in order to kick him to death.
Doyle Redland, for the Onion Radio News, online at the onion.com.
THIS is not Satire news, it's a true story. It may be stranger news than the one from The Onion, and stranger still, there is effort to save this dog's life after mauling a person to death. There are people lined up to adopt it. Life is stranger than fiction, even satire, these days.