How we all wish that pit bulls were make-believe monsters, but alas, we know them to be real. Very real.
How are pit bulls like vampires? Let us COUNT the ways!
1. Both have Beady eyes and fangs, and wear a fancy necklace of some kind.
2. Both enjoy dining on the life essence of the living.
3. Both can be stopped with silver bullets.
4. Both are enclosed in shrouds, the vampire a physical death shroud, the pit bull, a shroud of mythology.
5. Both have a magnetic yet morbid and sexual appeal to a certain type of dysfunctional woman.
6. They both come with their own kind of wooden steak designed to dislodge them from blood letting.
There is almost mythical warning akin to that we find in the story of Pandora's Box in this 1984 movie, about the responsibility that comes with keeping a creature that can be so destructive and dangerous for a companion. Gremlins are cute and furry little creatures that look like Shih tzus, but don't feed them after midnight, and don't let them get wet. Pit bull puppies, well, they just grow up.
Hannibal would likely think pit bulls to be in too poor taste to relish the comparison. It's not hard to think of what he would think of the people who actually keep the official mascot of white trash for a pet and pillow for their spawn. Or, perhaps he would find the whole concept morbidly delightful. Here is a little poem in the honor of the concept...it's a dog eat dog world out there.
The shape shifting demon Gozer assumed the form of the Marshmallow in the film Ghostbusters (1984). As we can observe, there is a real kind of shape shifting in the world of animal husbandry, it's rather demonic to say the least.
If only every pibble came with a hockey mask, they wouldn't be so scary.
This killer doll came to life in the classic made for T.V. movie Trillogy of Terror (1975) , when his chain came off. We find that often, pibble really comes into his own when his chain falls off. Perhaps like the doll, there is the spirit of an indwelling hunter, and anything in his way becomes his prey. Perhaps there is wisdom of keeping really big chains on these dogs after all.
If we could only send pit bulls and their enthusiasts to another planet. Someday.
A pit bull that will not give up after a few warning spikes from Mr. Porcupine is a beast to be feared. This dog is more frightening than Cujo, and not nearly as cute.
Great White Sharks kill and maim less people than do Land Sharks.
If looks could kill...
Coming soon to a bookstore or library near you, INDOCTRINATION of the pit bull agenda for children. You will need to tell your children that monsters do exist after all.
Coming to your neighborhood soon, more nightmares.
Clowns and pit bulls scare the bejeezers out of me.
It seems that the Beast never quite made his transformation into a handsome prince.
Did you lose your pit bull? There's horror in the streets.
Follow the screams.
Many wishes that you have a safe Halloween,
And that Pit bulls stay out of your dreams.
Follow the screams.
Many wishes that you have a safe Halloween,
And that Pit bulls stay out of your dreams.
