Silver Scream Dopplegangers

Pit Nutter Circus has rounded up a number of pibbles who are Dead Ringers (pun intended!) for the most fearsome monsters to haunt the silver screen. 

How we all wish that pit bulls were make-believe monsters, but alas, we know them to be real.  Very real. 

How are pit bulls like vampires? Let us COUNT the ways!

1. Both have Beady eyes and fangs, and wear a fancy necklace of some kind.
2.  Both enjoy dining on the life essence of the living.
3.  Both can be stopped with silver bullets.
4.  Both are enclosed in shrouds, the vampire a physical death shroud, the pit bull, a shroud of mythology.
5.  Both have a magnetic yet morbid and sexual appeal to a certain type of dysfunctional woman. 
6. They both come with their own kind of wooden steak designed to dislodge them from blood letting.






There is almost mythical warning akin to that we find in the story of Pandora's Box in this 1984 movie, about the responsibility that comes with keeping a creature that can be so destructive and dangerous for a companion.  Gremlins are cute and furry little creatures that look like Shih tzus, but don't feed them after midnight, and don't let them get wet.  Pit bull puppies, well, they just grow up. 



Hannibal would likely think pit bulls to be in too poor taste to relish the comparison. It's not hard to think of what he would think of the people who actually keep the official mascot of white trash for a pet and pillow for their spawn.  Or, perhaps he would find the whole concept morbidly delightful.   Here is a little poem in the honor of the concept...it's a dog eat dog world out there. 




The shape shifting demon Gozer assumed the form of the Marshmallow in the film Ghostbusters (1984).  As we can observe, there is a real kind of shape shifting in the world of animal husbandry, it's rather demonic to say the least.





If only every pibble came with a hockey mask, they wouldn't be so scary.  




This killer doll came to life in the classic made for T.V. movie Trillogy of Terror (1975) , when his chain came off.  We find that often, pibble really comes into his own when his chain falls off.  Perhaps like the doll, there is the spirit of an indwelling hunter, and anything in his way becomes his prey.  Perhaps there is wisdom of keeping really big chains on these dogs after all.





If we could only send pit bulls and their enthusiasts to another planet.  Someday.





A pit bull that will not give up after a few warning spikes from Mr. Porcupine is a beast to be feared. This dog is more frightening than Cujo, and not nearly as cute.






Great White Sharks kill and maim less people than do Land Sharks. 

If looks could kill...

Coming soon to a bookstore or library near you, INDOCTRINATION of the pit bull agenda for children.  You will need to tell your children that monsters do exist after all.  

Coming to your neighborhood soon, more nightmares.

It's not really a joke.

Clowns and pit bulls scare the bejeezers out of me.

It seems that the Beast never quite made his transformation into a handsome prince.

 Did you lose your pit bull?  There's horror in the streets. 

Follow the screams.


Many wishes that you have a safe Halloween,
And that Pit bulls stay out of your dreams.

Another Halloween Poem for you to enjoy!

Pass the Popcorn!

Every year, just when it's blazing hot outside and most of us would yearn to take a trip to the beach to cool off, the Discovery Channel plays a week of documentaries and specials about sharks.  It's become a beloved annual event worthy of popcorn, learning about these fascinating creatures that inspire fear or at least respect. 

Mark your calendars, Discovery Channel's Shark Week starts next week! 

Perhaps inspired, or perhaps feeding an insatiable appetite of people who need to be reassured and feel good about owning and advocating for pit bulls, Huffington Post has launched its own Landshark Week!  There's bound to be copious amounts of back patting. 

More people have been killed this year by land sharks 

than by real sharks.

It may be safer to go to the beach.  Watch out for the loose pit bulls.

Is that what it is?  Hearts seeking veins. May yours stay intact!

LAND SHARK WEEK!

MOOD MUSIC!

Sharky is a Great name for a pit bull!  Sharky's owner thinks that folks would like to  purchase a Sharky mouse-pad and other merchandize.  Sharky even has his own facebook page!

This is a pit bull shark.  Just kidding, there is no such thing, this is just a silly art project.  It looks like my neighbor's pit bull.

Here is a video of a pit bull stealing a shark from a Rottweiler, then killing it.

Here's some interesting facts about pit bulls and sharks!

Surgeons often compare the wounds of pit bull attacks with those of  sharks!

According to the International Shark Attack File (ISAF), between 1580 and 2011 there were 2,463 confirmed unprovoked shark attacks around the world, of which 471 were fatal.


According to the  Merritt Clifton report, between 1982 and 2012, there have been  2,235 pit bull attacks that caused serious bodily injury, and 233 deaths.  This is the figure with out mixes and close relatives added in. That would make the domesticated canine more dangerous than a beautiful, mysterious, ancient creature who has been the top of the food chain for millions of years. 

Just like my neighborhood!  Folks, keep your cats inside, there's land sharks on the prowl!

Landsharks!

MOOD MUSIC!

 

Nanny Shark!

Dum Dum Dum Dum....

                                       

Note: This item was something found, it does not entirely reflect the position of the author, rather pointing that humor is how many people are dealing with the terror that mismanaged pit bulls have blighted our neighborhoods and countrysides.  Landsharks is one of the endearing names pit bulls have earned for themselves, not that they care.   In this respect, and only in this respect, they are dogs.